Maslow – Hamp's Corner of America

Checking Our Life Progress at Age Forty

My online pastor, don’t trip, I also attend First Baptist in Pittsburg. As I was saying, a few Sunday’s ago Doctor Lance Watson of Saint Paul’s Baptist (Richmond, VA.) began a new sermon series. The new series is entitled “Fortyish.” The subject is as it sounds, people reflecting on their current status in life at the age of forty. Naturally, Dr. Watson looked at it from a biblical sense.

It started me wondering about my state of mind after turning Forty. First of all, I had my midlife crises in my early thirties. I had to close a thriving retail business because I didn’t have the collateral to get a business loan. With two kids and a wife, finding a career that had growth possibilities at home was a lost cause. After closing our retail outlet, I reasoned that my future was not in Milwaukee.

I was familiar with the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Area. As a young soldier, I was once stationed at Fort Ord, outside Salinas and Monterey, CA. From there I was assigned to Oakland’s Army Terminal to await a ship that took me to Korea. While there, I’d settled in so well, the Forty- Niners’ became my second favorite football team, after the Packers. Reluctantly my wife agreed, and we decided to move to Northern California. I should also say my life took a drastic change for the better with that decision. I put in an application for a governmental position in Alameda. I got hired as a Supply Clerk by a lady I ending up calling my West Coast Mother. She called to tell me I had the job and found my wife to be pregnant expecting our third child. Ida M Brown (RIP) allowed me to report, two months later after the birth of the baby. After I had arrived, she suggested I move into the Oakland YMCA, which I did and invited me and my new friend, Denny, over to her house for a Thanksgiving Dinner. I never forgot her kindness. That was in 1978. I was thirty-four years old.

But let’s stay on point. I should note that I passed my forties over two decades ago. By age forty, I was working as an Accounting Technician at Naval Supply Center. I transferred from the Accounting Department and took a job in the Procurement Department. My dream had come true. I was a Purchasing Agent and feeling like I’d made real professional progress.

For most people, as Dr. Watson says, turning forty is a time we spend taking inventory of our life. Specifically, we look at our professional life, social environment, and friends.

Professionally we compare our dreams and hopes at twenty to our current reality. We look at our professional gains or losses. We wonder if we had taken this or that turn would we be in a better financial position. Are we happy in our chosen profession? Are we in an upward position or a dead end? Is my position as rewarding as I originally thought, does it provide me the required security. And one of the most important aspects of a career, am I paid enough for the work.

Should we make a slight change in direction or change careers? In these days, maybe the choice has been made for you. Companies continue to downsize, and look for ways to cut staff as a way of improving their profitability. In my opinion, all possibilities must be reviewed including starting your own business.

We also take stock as to who in our lives are worth keeping and who might need to write off as a loss or nuisance. Sounds cold? Come on; we’ve all had those people in our lives. Friends and, or relatives who have and will continue to cause constant problems in our daily existence. Most mean well, but come into your life with their personal agenda. Some go so far as to get what they need from you and move on to other sources. For a few, you may just have to say enough is enough; we just can’t be around each other. That would also include those in our love life. Is this the person I want in my life. Have the past years been as wonderful for both of us or neither one of us?

There is also an important examination that is biblical in nature. Do our possessions contribute to our mental well-being? In short, what we have purchased or personally own is the subject. Do our toys, for lack of a better word, make us happy? The size, brand or value of your toy may not mean the same to other individuals. Maybe it is a status toy like a home or automobile. Whatever the case, the question remains the same. Does it make you happy?

Sometimes we find that after getting a new toy, we are bored and begin to set our sights on a more expensive or new toy. In other words, we may find ourselves always longing for something we don’t have and possible can never own. That calls for self-examination of our values. Do we need this or another toy or can we find happiness with what we already own? And just where do our friends, family, and spouses fit into our toy equation? The value of human contact and interaction should always outweigh our desires for toys.

The point of the exercise is to examine all aspects of your life at this stage. It’s a case where you have to be selfish and honest with yourself. If the exercise is carried out in the correct way, one will learn a lot about themselves and people around them.

This article is a series of personal examinations at the subject decade milestones in our lives. We welcome comments on your thoughts as write about each topic point. We can all learn from others experiences as well as our own. Look for a new article every two weeks.

Next up: What Happens When You Reach Fifty?

Followed by: Sixty, the new Forty or Fifty?

Ending with: Seventies, are you Done?

Peace, make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II

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“In my latest book, Remember Moz, Gracie & John Hampton’s First-Born, I wanted to tell the world about a unique individual. Not because he happened to be my father but to explain who he was, where he came from, and how he evolved into the man he became up until his death. In doing so, I wrote of his ancestor’s roots back to and through the Civil War. The inclusion of his birth and upbringing in the heart of Arkansas, or Jim Crow country, add southern reluctance to learn why our country involved itself in a bloodthirsty four-year exercise in the first place? Then you begin to understand why, our parents behaved the way that they did. See if I captured the essence of this paragraph.” Get the book via the Authors Page at http://outskirtspress.com/webPage/isbn/9781478766056

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Why Do We Rush To Get Everywhere?

Every now and then I remember the words of a class instructor from back in the day. I was attending a Semi-truck driving course in Plymouth Indiana. It was during the time when I was searching for any profession that would allow me to take care of my newly growing family as a married man. This class was one of a few I took hoping to land, as my father use to call them, “A good job.”

The instructor reminded us all as we prepared to get practice time behind the wheel of semi’s that particular day. He warned, “Remember this…there is an accident up the road. If you hurry, you can get in on it.”

Everybody is always in a hurry. They say, and I repeat, they say they don’t have time. Or the old standby, “Hurry up, I’m running late.” Most automatically add the word “again” to “I’m running late.” Do you notice we never seem to catch up? Frankly, I am not even sure if some of us would recognize what we were chasing if we caught up with it. If you are not careful, you may pass it moving so fast. You’ve heard the saying “Can’t see the Forrest for the trees.” And what is it? That, my friends, is the real question. What are we really chasing?

As youngsters, we were trying to get in all the playtime we could before our parents asked us to come into the house. We chased the opposite sex as teenagers. As young adults, sometimes our chase of that main squeeze became our number one priority with a career as number two. However the numbering, the chased took on a serious note. Because we were also chasing a standard of living, to live life the American way. You remember, “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

And let’s say you, sooner rather than later, found them both and all that they encompass. With that being, a good mate, young children, a decent place to live, and a good paying job (or career) to support all those other things. Maybe you’ve been one of the fortunate who is a professional sports player or blessed as an entertainer. If not, and we are talking about today. Most households have both parents working to make ends meet. Whichever …you’ve finally made it. Now what, are you going to slow down, stop rushing all over the place? No…because now your nickname should be Mr. or Mrs. Paranoid. You remember how it use to be compared to how it is…and now your number one priority is to keep what you have. You have got to keep producing, rushing before somebody catch you and take some or all of those things away. Then there is the possibility that you may do something to lose one or more of the things that are currently making you happy. That is if you are happy. It’s difficult to be happy and paranoid at the same time.

There is safety and comfort in a family unit. At least it was back in the day. Today we are not spending as much time with each other as we have in the past. Teenagers are somewhat on their own whether one or both parents are at home. They tend to be self-absorbed with smartphones, tablets and talking with friends. Yet we, including them are still in-a-hurry and normally chasing something or the other. Mostly it’s ourselves because we’re constantly running out of time. Life does have an expiration date. We don’t know when but we do know it’s a certainty.

I remember prior to retirement I made punctuality part of my D&A. It was a fetish to get away from the term “Color People Time.” Now I find myself not being able to calculate how long it is going to take me to get to the freeway from my house. This, knowing the way that I drive, it’s not going to take me as long as some people to navigate my way through traffic. I might add that I am a defensive driver, not a reckless speeder. Defensive driving is another mindset I learn at the semi-truck driving school. Mind you, we are not talking about commute traffic. While in my car, I sometimes smile as I become impatient with a particular driver. In these cases, my mother would often yell at the same type driver, “I wish I’d known you own this street (or highway), I would not have come this way.”) So in retrospect, I am still in a hurry to make appointments on time.

The point is we don’t really have to hurry. If we take the time to give ourselves enough time to avoid being pressed for time. That would include timely appointments and the biggie…reaching a certain prosperous station in life. One thing that I have learned over the years is if there something for you…that God has in store. You will get it. It may not be in the time frame that you had in mind, but it will be there waiting for you whenever you get there. Our Father in heaven is not going to give someone else your blessing. He does not work that way.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a religious fanatic, or someone who can quote the Bible from start to the finish. Many, who’ve read my articles, know how I’ve described how the Catholic practices and beliefs had me questioning God Almighty as a teenager attending St. Benedict de Moor. It took me a long while, but I have reconciled my faith in Jesus Christ and all that he embodied. Although, as an acquaintance of mine said the other day, “I’m not quite there yet.” This was his answer to an unsolicited question of did he feel as forgiving as Christ was and is. That would be my answer too. For this articles view, I am simply stating that even if you do not believe in Christ. And you choose to look at it another way. The fact is, life will provide what you have coming and you don’t have to rush to get it. That is the exact point of this article.

No matter, how fast we attained certain things like food, shelter, a good mate, fame and a workable annual income that supports you and yours. After securing all those needs and other things that come with that, most will not be satisfied. I will just state here, Google or Bing Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs.” Study his pyramid and think about life.

You simply cannot rush to success. It has to come to you. You can and should prepare, by continuing to put in the work to handle it once received. Oh, a few might get it early in life and lose it just as quickly. And…success for some might mean an entirely different thing to others. You know the hashtag, “It’s complicated.”

So the advice here is to take your time. Save yourself a lot of stress, wear and tear on you and your family’s nerves. Whatever is for you will come, sooner or later, to you. Just make sure you are aware enough to recognize it, especially those progressive steps. Sometimes it looks like we are going backward instead of forward but that is not true. No matter whom we are, we learn something new every day. That alone is progress because you are better today than you were yesterday. You have to take advantage of the circumstances leading up to your blessing. And just as important, live life one day at a time, one moment at a time and you will find yourself enjoying it more if you slow it down. I’m just saying…

Peace, make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II

Follow Hamp at https://twitter.com/#!/HampTwo

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Whose Time’s More Valuable, Yours or Mine?

Here is a question for you…whose time is more important, yours or mine? I ask because the answer is obvious. Most people who answer truthfully will, of course, say their time. We all think our time is a premium possession in which, often we don’t have a spare minute.

Some people, who have shortcomings in a particular area of entrepreneurial expertise, have no problem in asking for your help on their project. This is especially true for those who may not possess good business person skills. They often ask you to give your time and effort for free, without any type of compensation. They appeal to your sense of pride in your race, community or country. They want to reap the benefits of monetary reward or prestige for their pet project. But as far as your contribution to the same, they want something for nothing.

I have found the perfect solution to those types of situations. It is no secret, for I learned this lesson in my thirty’s. There is nothing like putting words in a contractual or agreement format to ensure that all involve understand what is required and expected from any type of collaboration. Presenting this type of document to others has a way of weeding out those who want something for nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, the document is not asking for some outrageous fee. You are just putting together stipulations of a working agreement between business persons. Both of you are going to agree on whatever is included in the document. Most Entrepreneurs will understand, except those who wanted something for nothing. They suddenly have second thoughts. For me, I just laugh to myself and thank God I saved a lot of time by weeding these type folks out of my life. Because…in the end, time is of the essence with me.

There is that word…time. Let’s go a little deeper into that thought. Young folks…say eighteen to thirty don’t have any time for anyone. At least that is the way it seems. We rush from thought process to the thought process, relationship to relationship, maybe even one career to a completely different type. How we make, our living is of the utmost importance at this stage of life. Indeed, how much we are paid for our services is the primary reason we choose a particular profession.

By the time we reach the thirty to the forty-year-old range, there is a gradual or sometimes sharp turn in one’s priorities. Here we began to seriously look at where we are in life. We look at our current social and intimate contacts as well as our financial status. If we have children, or maybe grandchildren, we begin thinking of their well-being for the future. Bottom line, at this age bracket, most have gotten real serious about life. Time is becoming a premium that is not to be wasted as we did at a younger age.

Fifty to sixty is another age range where people look at time differently. It’s like you began to hear Rod Sterling’s “Twilight Zone” theme music. You know that you are about to enter a time zone of no return. It’s not too late to prepare yourself for old age. Make no mistake about it, some may figure that fifty is the new forty. That really makes no difference to how young you feel, the fact is you are still dealing with irreplaceable time.

For those of us over sixty, time for all practical purpose, indeed for any purpose is what we are now trying to measure. The primary being how much more time do we have on this earth. By the time one reaches this age bracket, you began to look back and see what you have or have not accomplished. We believe it’s too late for some things and not too late for others, depending upon your perspective and previous ambitious. Some of us find other careers later on in life.

From a social perspective, you no longer have the patience you once had with trivial matters. You have no time for rude people. You have reached a heightened understanding of people’s motivation that causes them to act in a certain manner.

From that special relationship with a spouse you value the time you have spent together. If the person is still around, you laugh and reminisce at the crazy times you two had or marvel at the things you accomplished. You wonder what might have been had you went in this or that direction in your life. Overall, you are thankful you can sit back and think about how it was at that time. Most of all, you appreciate the now.

And finally from a business perspective you might have things you want to accomplish, or to be more exact, unfinished business. We are trying to make a difference by leaving something of ourselves behind for others to know that we were here on earth at a specific time. No matter what age group you fall in, think about that a minute.

That is the primary reason for me to refer to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. Without going into Maslow’s entire theory, all one need to understand is to look at his pyramid of needs pictured in this article. For those who are not familiar study it a minute. And then think about the fact that any age bracket in your life you may had reached a certain level in this pyramid. Maybe it was just one of the sub-titles at a particular level. Then, for whatever reason, you fell back down to the “Basic Need” level. The point being and the primary idea of Maslow’s need is that it is rare for one to have reached the pinnacle level of “Self-fulfillment Needs.” Why? Because most of us spend a lifetime of running up and down this entire pyramid.

There is no doubt that each rung on the ladder of this design takes time to get, solidify, and maintain throughout a lifetime. Most believe the time is really controlled by God. For that atheist out there, let me put it another way. You do not control the length of time you will be on this earth. And that is why each and everybody’s time is most valuable to them.

So the next time you ask someone in the over sixty age bracket if they have a minute, an hour, or anytime, realize you are asking for their most precious commodity. If you are coming at them from a real place of need or help, they most likely will find the time to give you. If not, don’t be surprised if they look at you like you are crazy, shake their head and just walk away without a word. You feel me?

Peace, make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II

Follow Hamp at https://twitter.com/#!/HampTwo

Subscribe to this blog at http://wp.me/p436aY-68

Join us at the live broadcast of our bimonthly BTR Shows at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hampscornerofamerica

Get my latest book, a collection of my blogs from 1999 through 2014. It’s entitled The Episodic Thoughts of Hamp. Go to the following Authors page link for details. http://www.outskirtspress.com/webPage/isbn/9781478746232

Our Parent Company and sponsor is CHIIA Group, online at https://hampscofa.net/