Misguided Intentions, the Book

From birth through our teens we experience quite a bit of life that is out of our control. One could say we are not in command of our lives during that period. The responsibility for our overall well-being lies with our parents or other adults.
Once we have reached the legal age of self-responsibility, we have more control over who we are. How our life turns out is now in our personal care. The one constant during these episodes, peaks, and valleys in our life is change. Most changes are for the better, others could be harmful to our growth. But make no mistake about it, no matter where we are in our life cycle, over time everything must and will change. How our guardians or we facilitate, those changes are the key to a productive and happy life.
Misguided Intentions provides a great read of how its central character and others meet, interact, accept or even reject change. They all are wrestling with obstacles thrown their way every day. Each deals with it in their own way. The unthinkable, the unimaginable, subtle and not so subtle shifts in personalities are clear for the reader to consume. You can judge if that is the right or wrong way to go in your emotional involvement. Faith, hope, and love are traits most characters lean on in their development. You get to examine the life and family relationships during the mid-sixties through the mid-seventies. Civil Rights, The Viet Nam War, Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Rhythm & Blues all while involved in free love were the topics of the day. It’s an era where the younger generation of Blacks looked to effect change in society. While the older more conservative colored folk wanted to retain the American way of life or status quo if you will. “Don’t rock the boat,” they advised. “I got a good job and am doing a hell of a lot better than my parents who grew up in the South. Don’t draw attention to yourself,” they warned.
The central character, Annie Lee Holmes may seem like an enigma to us. She like us all has that bag full of life experiences weighing her down. You know…the one we keep adding to as we live our life. Her bags filled with mean spirited treatment from an assortment of people that would drive a less stronger person crazy.
Society, neighbors and family members expect her to be and act a certain way. They all have their opinion of how a mother, girlfriend, widow, or friend should behave and treat others. But they have not experienced the kind of treatment she has gone through at a young age.
Now she has children and wonders what next. One husband has walked out on her and his children. Another has suddenly died after a year, leaving behind another child. Because of past experiences, she is not really sure how to be a human being much less a single parent. She certainly would not categorize herself as having the mental fortitude to deal with life. Her environment seems like she is playing a televised part in a murder mystery. It’s truly like a psychoanalytical, Days of Our Lives or Soap Opera production. The difference is most of these characters is from the other side of the track. The reasons why something happens or don’t go as planned is somewhat muddled. Yet, she is allowed to survive; although stumbling on from day to day.

Misguided Intentions paints a story of Annie Lee’s life journey and its effects on her ever-changing personality. The motto is keeping your eyes on where you are going, not necessarily where you are at any given time. There is always a better lifestyle around the corner. Be aware the twist and turns along the way never actually cease, various obstacles place by friend and foe calls for proceeding cautiously. Our job is to maneuver around and sometimes through the barriers. As the George Benson song says…”Everything must change, nothing stays the same.”

Peace, yet stay vigilant for our American rights. Make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II

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Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment.

Whose Time’s More Valuable, Yours or Mine?

Man Running with BriefcaseHere is a question for you…whose time is more important, yours or mine? I ask because the answer is obvious. Most people who answer truthfully will, of course, say their time. We all think our time is a premium possession in which, often we don’t have a spare minute.

Some people, who have shortcomings in a particular area of entrepreneurial expertise, have no problem in asking for your help on their project. This is especially true for those who may not possess good business person skills. They often ask you to give your time and effort for free, without any type of compensation. They appeal to your sense of pride in your race, community or country. They want to reap the benefits of monetary reward or prestige for their pet project. But as far as your contribution to the same, they want something for nothing.

I have found the perfect solution to those types of situations. It is no secret, for I learned this lesson in my thirty’s. There is nothing like putting words in a contractual or agreement format to ensure that all involve understand what is required and expected from any type of collaboration. Presenting this type of document to others has a way of weeding out those who want something for nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, the document is not asking for some outrageous fee. You are just putting together stipulations of a working agreement between business persons. Both of you are going to agree on whatever is included in the document. Most Entrepreneurs will understand, except those who wanted something for nothing. They suddenly have second thoughts. For me, I just laugh to myself and thank God I saved a lot of time by weeding these type folks out of my life. Because…in the end, time is of the essence with me.

There is that word…time. Let’s go a little deeper into that thought. Young folks…say eighteen to thirty don’t have any time for anyone. At least that is the way it seems. We rush from thought process to the thought process, relationship to relationship, maybe even one career to a completely different type. How we make, our living is of the utmost importance at this stage of life. Indeed, how much we are paid for our services is the primary reason we choose a particular profession.

By the time we reach the thirty to the forty-year-old range, there is a gradual or sometimes sharp turn in one’s priorities.   Here we began to seriously look at where we are in life. We look at our current social and intimate contacts as well as our financial status. If we have children, or maybe grandchildren, we begin thinking of their well-being for the future. Bottom line, at this age bracket, most have gotten real serious about life. Time is becoming a premium that is not to be wasted as we did at a younger age.

Fifty to sixty is another age range where people look at time differently. It’s like you began to hear Rod Sterling’s “Twilight Zone” theme music. You know that you are about to enter a time zone of no return. It’s not too late to prepare yourself for old age. Make no mistake about it, some may figure that fifty is the new forty. That really makes no difference to how young you feel, the fact is you are still dealing with irreplaceable time.

For those of us over sixty, time for all practical purpose, indeed for any purpose is what we are now trying to measure. The primary being how much more time do we have on this earth. By the time one reaches this age bracket, you began to look back and see what you have or have not accomplished. We believe it’s too late for some things and not too late for others, depending upon your perspective and previous ambitious. Some of us find other careers later on in life.

From a social perspective, you no longer have the patience you once had with trivial matters. You have no time for rude people. You have reached a heightened understanding of people’s motivation that causes them to act in a certain manner.

From that special relationship with a spouse you value the time you have spent together. If the person is still around, you laugh and reminisce at the crazy times you two had or marvel at the things you accomplished. You wonder what might have been had you went in this or that direction in your life. Overall, you are thankful you can sit back and think about how it was at that time. Most of all, you appreciate the now.

And finally from a business perspective you might have things you want to accomplish, or to be more exact, unfinished business. We are trying to make a difference by leaving something of ourselves behind for others to know that we were here on earth at a specific time. No matter what age group you fall in, think about that a minute.

Maslows NeedsThat is the primary reason for me to refer to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. Without going into Maslow’s entire theory, all one need to understand is to look at his pyramid of needs pictured in this article. For those who are not familiar study it a minute. And then think about the fact that any age bracket in your life you may had reached a certain level in this pyramid. Maybe it was just one of the sub-titles at a particular level. Then, for whatever reason, you fell back down to the “Basic Need” level. The point being and the primary idea of Maslow’s need is that it is rare for one to have reached the pinnacle level of “Self-fulfillment Needs.” Why? Because most of us spend a lifetime of running up and down this entire pyramid.

There is no doubt that each rung on the ladder of this design takes time to get, solidify, and maintain throughout a lifetime. Most believe the time is really controlled by God. For that atheist out there, let me put it another way. You do not control the length of time you will be on this earth. And that is why each and everybody’s time is most valuable to them.

So the next time you ask someone in the over sixty age bracket if they have a minute, an hour, or anytime, realize you are asking for their most precious commodity. If you are coming at them from a real place of need or help, they most likely will find the time to give you. If not, don’t be surprised if they look at you like you are crazy, shake their head and just walk away without a word. You feel me?

Peace, make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II

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Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment