Downsizing, along with Relocating…an Emotional Exercise

Picture this: you’ve lived in a previous house for over twenty-five years. You’ve seen neighbors come and go, a few of which have gone on to meet their maker. Little Jimmy and Janice from next door moved on to their first year of college. It seems like only yesterday you gave Jimmy a hot wheel for Christmas. Janice preferred a little black doll. They are around your two children’s age who have also moved out.

Now, you are planning to move to a new house—an unfamiliar neighborhood with friendly neighbors. Yet diversity is still your prerequisite. If you haven’t experienced this type of relocation, it is more than a notion.

It’s just you and your spouse. Your son and daughter regularly stop by for announced or unannounced visits to check on their parents. Besides that, the house is no longer populated with family or visiting guests.

To begin packing is an easy task. You start with the kids’ rooms. Each toy, book, or whatever has a profoundly emotional memory of a severed relationship. Your spouse joins you. Each item now takes on additional importance. In these rooms, you’re reminded of a past event. You can remember many things: a tooth pulled, a special birthday, a specific holiday. Your spouse helps you to recall if you have forgotten certain events. You know you told those kids to take their souvenirs with them. One look at the residual items and you know this was an almost impossible task. In the end, both of you leave the room almost as it was because it’s also hard to throw away certain items.

You may use an attic, basement, or garage for stored stuff. Here, you run into personal gifts, awards, and sure souvenirs that are just as hard to get rid of as those items in the kids’ old rooms. Never let it be said that you haven’t looked at the little artifact and classified it as unimportant until you realize who and why it was given to you. By now, you’ve got the picture. Ultimately, you cannot take all this stuff to the new house. Now comes the hard part: what goes and what stays.

Somehow, both of you have got to give each item the stay or go designation. The retaining criteria can be a priceless or silly item with some personal or monetary value. In the end, you will throw away cherished items. You will donate some of your most deeply personal things to churches or Goodwill. Again, …you cannot keep all this stuff you two have accumulated over the last two decades.

We finally realized that even though we had an eye for quality items, we still had to let some go. It doesn’t matter that Aunt Hattie will one day ask where the location of the cuckoo clock she gave you for your wedding present. The answer is, “Honey, we kept that little priceless item for over fifteen years and finally realized that someone else should be able to enjoy it. Anyway, it stopped working a few years ago.”

Your mother-in-law believes she has some gift tenure or supreme right to place items in your home for perpetuity. You are floored to find out your father-in-law feels the same way, not to think of your mother, father, or even some close relatives or friends.  

By now, you two are annoyed, no longer amused. The nerve of those who expect you to keep the little dusty vase or artifact forever. Your spouse asks what she thinks is a silly question: “Do they think we should be buried with them?”

Face it. You will hurt some folk’s feelings while tugging at your emotional reasoning for keeping or discarding certain items. Trips back and forth from Goodwill remind you that they will resale the items. Some of these priceless artifacts could be placed on the Internet by you. Then again, who has the time to haggle with potential buyers?

In our case, we had retail items stored in a tuff shed. They were bought for resale when we frequented the Flea Market back in the day. Most are collectors’ items that cannot be discarded as worthless.

It is usually hard to sell these items for a fair price at the flea market. You know their actual worth, some appreciating in cost rather than just collecting dust. i.e., Ron Lee clown sculptures, Annie Lee paintings, and collector statures. Folks are not as excited about those items as back in the day. Yet these pieces stand the test of time. They will be worth their weight in gold someday. The question is when and how long you can hold on to them.

Struggling craft artists created other artifacts at the time. Most likely, their works are not going to increase in value. The bottom line is that I cannot keep them in a costly storage bin—it’s time to get back on eBay.

I have personal and retail items in PODs, my new garage, and others in a public storage unit. My wife and I do not move as fast as we did back in the day. So, it’s a slow process. Everyone I’ve spoken to reminds me that organization doesn’t happen overnight. My new next-door neighbor shook his head and noted that had it not been for friends’ help, he and the wife would not have been able to settle within weeks in the new house.

I long for the good old days in our twenties. With the help of a couple of cousins, we could move out and into a new house within two hours. We could do that on a Saturday afternoon and attend a house party or concert by nine o’clock that evening. Rise and shine the following Sunday morning, spending time with family and friends. By Monday morning, we would report for work fresh and ready to work eight or more hours—those days are gone and buried in the past, along with the quality of moving help.

As it turns out, we completed emptying the last two PODs on Thursday, the 21st. Imagine moving your belongings around for almost two months until you have them in your new home. Now, I have boxes in my garage and a public storage area. That timeline includes selling our old house and moving into our new residence. Finally, we can begin sorting the items to keep necessities and discard the rest.

So, if you plan to move away from a resident after a long residential presence, prepare for an emotional experience between your spouse, neighbors, relatives, and within your mind. These days, it turns out to be quite a very drawn-out endeavor.   

 Peace, blessings, stay healthy and be vigilant for our American rights. Make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II                                                                                                                                                     Author & Commentator

“The Episodic Thoughts of Hamp, Vol II” has been published. Check out my author webpage URL  https://outskirtspress.com/HampsEpisodicThoughtsVol2                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Join us for our live or Internet broadcast of bi-monthly BTR R&B or Smooth Jazz Musical at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hampscornerofamerica. Or play the broadcast at your leisure.

Follow Hamp at our Parent Company/Sponsor CHIIA Group at https://hcofa.net/

Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment

Patience, Customer Service, or wishing humanity the best is a lost Art.

Frequently, older folks begin tripping at any suggestion by a youngster that they are losing some skill or another. Think of memory of family contact or events, even occurrences with those critical to our memory. We may not be as quick in mind or physically as in the past. Now, we seem so much slower in our response to their request.

Physically, we may use a cane or walker to get around. There is nothing like watching the impatience of someone waiting on someone requiring those tools to walk. Oh, they are fine initially, but their patience wears out as time goes on. You can almost see the willingness to assist in the beginning turn to annoyance after dealing with the older person after a while. It’s that they are on the move, and anything that slows them down affects their required life cycle speed, if you get my drift.

Don’t get me wrong. Most are glad to assist an older individual for a few minutes. Anything longer than that depends upon your relationship. It helps if it’s your grandson or other close relative.

As old timers, we can recall we were just like them. We always had something to do, somewhere to go, late for a meeting, or, heavens forbid, a date with the opposite sex. Like today’s youngsters, we were always in a hurry to be somewhere. Even if that somewhere was to hang out on the corner with our friends.

Customer service or general consideration of another person’s space in our orbit seems lost. Even if you have no handicaps, shopping in stores, eating in restaurants, or even going through the fast-food drive-through can be an experience. People seem not to have a minute to waste when getting your food. You better get in the habit of checking your bag to see if they completed your order. Nothing grinds your nerves as to get home to find something missing or not, as you requested at the outset.

Some folks pushing grocery store shopping carts are oblivious to their whereabouts. They are blocking your advancement. Or they think they are racing at the Indianapolis 500 speedway. That is evident when you head for the checkout line. They act like they don’t see you heading in the same direction. A picture worth a thousand-dollar price is the one that has their kid in the seat of the cart. The child is either laughing at the sudden burst of speed or turning quiet, hoping their parent will not have a wreck rushing to the checkout cash register.

How about dealing with a telephone customer service representative? If you have computer issues, you better be prepared to listen to the rep reading from a script of possible customer errors. This is almost always followed by insisting you unplug this and hook up that before they request access to your computer. They will practically ignore your answers to their questions until they finish reading the script.

And finally, those who rang your doorbell. It makes no difference if you have a “No Soliciting Sign on your house. I have one, but they act as though they didn’t see it when you ask about it. They are just in the neighborhood, they begin. How much do you pay for your monthly electric bill? They continue by expressing how much they will save you on that bill; sign up with us. Your charge is on your monthly energy bill.

They get offended if you are adamant about keeping your current setup and fees. “You mean you don’t want to save money.” You practically must insist they leave. You may have to slam the door on their faces to get them to move along.

The bottom line is this. Baby Boomers went through their twenties and thirties when society changed to a more liberal attitude period. We all wanted the best for people we had not met. It was an overall ‘wish you well,’ man. We inherited our parents’ work ethic. Becoming employed, we took on the responsibility of job performance as a leading criterion for promotions or other career advancements. Overall, we treated others like we wanted to be treated whenever we encountered them.

Then, Ronald Reagan became president. He addressed those “I got mine, and I don’t care about you” attitudes. Since then, Conservatism has moved closer to first place in exchange for more liberal thoughts toward our neighbors or friends.

The entertainment world reflected the free-spirited Baby Boomers era. Despite the hatred, this is still harbored by certain groups of folks. The great majority didn’t mind lending a hand to see our fellow humans lift themselves and earn their piece of the American Pie.

Ever since Reagan became president, we’ve gone in the opposite direction. Reagan’s administration instituted and changed more liberal laws. That practice continued with each Republican administration. Today, we have evolved into a ‘get out of my face before I hurt you’ type of people. In other words, ‘who let the dogs out’…Donald Trump. We don’t seem to have any patience with anybody, no matter their handicap. It’s all about I got mine. And I’ll take yours too if you are not careful.

Add that to the Wild West syndrome of backup before I shoot because I don’t like your kind. Or some other folks, taking the law into their own hands after drinking the right-wing rhetoric water of lying. Kids are shooting each other at our children’s parties or schools. What the…? The NRA doesn’t care; let anybody have as many weapons as they want, military-style or whatever. Surprise, surprise, all creeds and colors are in play.

For those of us who have seen a different America, it is sad to see the attitude change. We wonder how far our society is going to drift in this direction. When will we change course, if ever again?      

 Peace, blessings, stay healthy, and vigilant for our American rights. Make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II                                                                                                                                                     Author & Commentator

“The Episodic Thoughts of Hamp, Vol II” has been published. Check out my Authors webpage URL  https://outskirtspress.com/HampsEpisodicThoughtsVol2                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Join us for our live or Internet broadcast of bi-monthly BTR R&B or Smooth Jazz Musical at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hampscornerofamerica. Or play the broadcast at your leisure.

Follow Hamp at our Parent Company/Sponsor CHIIA Group at https://hcofa.net/

Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment

Celebrating Our 50th Wedding Anniversary

My wife and I celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary on Saturday at the Pittsburg Senior Center. Our actual anniversary was on August 31st. We choose to celebrate it on Saturday, September 1st to get the venue for the party. Family, friends were in attendance on a holiday weekend. Relatives from our hometown, friends from near and far made it even more of an extraordinary celebration.

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Our son, Richie “Tycoon” Hampton acted as the Master of Ceremony. He also performed his releases, “Family,” and “Ain’t Goin Nowhere.”

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The “Called-2-Praise” Dancers performed to the Fantasia & Tye Tribbett collaboration of “I Made It.” They did an encore dance to “Your Spirit” by  Tasha Cobbs Leonard.  All were excellent at their craft.

Our Guest brought gifts, cards, although please believe me when I say, we were not expecting that type of support. Maybe we were just naïve in thinking people would not show their support with beautiful gifts. To us it was about sharing a special milestone in our lives with some of the people we treasure as friends and family. There were those who could not be there for a multitude of reasons and was kind enough to let us know. Just know that by being invited, Sandra and I consider you to be an essential part of our walk of life.

All in attendance will get a heartfelt “Thank You” package via the US mail or personally delivered to you. We will add pictures of the event, and a personal note of our gratitude. Please be patient for that. Again, it was so amazing to look out over the audience and see people who we have met at one time or another and try to keep as friends in our lives. It took us a while to learn to associate with individuals who share common goals and beliefs yet remain special in their own way. For the most part, they and we are people who shy away from the drama of living but hone in on the joy along with rewards that God has planned for us. Just know that friends and family in that hall plus some that were not in attendance have a special place reserved in our hearts. After all, you are real people.

Some may wonder how do you end up staying together for so long much less fifty years? One answer is we never thought about it with each passing year. There was never a shortage of love and respect from either one of us. I would say that is one of the major components that helped us through the trying times. The big one for me is communication between the two of us.

We started out as friends, lovers and running buddies. I thought I knew all about life and she let me feel so. No doubt I have good common sense but not as much as I might think I have at times. She challenged me at every turn which kept me on my toes. I was and still are under enormous pressure not to fail or disappoint her. She amazed me with her patience with family, people, and events. A trait that I sometimes struggle with today. We always had each other best interest at heart, no matter the situation.

A Leo man and Aries woman, two fiery combatable yet compatible signs. Some had reservations about us staying together for a week much less than a year. And here we have surpassed fifty years? Wow! What a trip. In short, we don’t really know how we did it. We do know that we come from families that had histories of staying together through thick and thin. I do remember telling her in the very beginning. She didn’t marry any member of my family. Nor did I marry any member of hers. It was going to me and her from then on out, no matter what anybody thought or how they would advise either of us. Having said that our parents and many others thought we were a cute couple. They cheered for a successful long union. Those who have passed would be proud.

I should add we made up our mind to not have a big wedding. One reason is that we didn’t have big money. Besides, we didn’t think a big wedding was necessary at the time. We made an appointment to be at City Hall on a specific date and time. We got married in front of a justice of the peace. One of my best friends, Jr. Ballentine was there as a witness. That morning of August 31, 1968, we walked down to City Hall as neither of us had a car. After the short but tender ceremony, we walked eight or nine blocks to a tavern.  Where I got into a pool game. Eventually, my new wife got tired of waiting for me. She walked back to her mothers’ house while Jr and I stayed at the tavern shooting pool. We hooked up again later that evening.

Now let me explain how it was with my buddies and me back in the day. There were no traditions that we hip folk followed at the time. If one were to traditionally zig, just to be different, we would zag. Our generation felt the old people had screwed up society so bad, the only option we had was to tear it up and rebuild it. So, to ensure your understanding of the point, the type of tradition didn’t matter. We realized we were following our parent’s example of getting married when they were young. Funny how some of life’s historical patterns repeats itself.

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Our love and appreciation to Gloria Jones (Event Planner) along with her crew in providing logistical support for the entire affair. Thanks to the attendees love and support shown…

Peace & Blessing…stay vigilant for our American rights. Make it a day in which Jesus Christ would be proud of you,

Codis Hampton II

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We are in a continuing effort to publicize my book, Gracie Hall-Hampton, the Arkansas Years 1917-1953. It’s based upon the life of my Grandmother. The Novel examines an era of Jim Crow that many in our society may have forgotten occurred against people of color. Meanwhile, we celebrate the publication of my latest and fifth book, Misguided Intentions. A book where family relationships are questioned to the core. Click on the publisher-Authors page at https://outskirtspress.com/MisguidedIntentions   

Get any of my books by visiting my Amazon.com Authors page at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B017TYFKBI?ref_=pe_1724030_132998070

 

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Copyright 2011 Codis Hampton II, all rights reserved. A bi-weekly blog for your enjoyment